WHY DOES SOMEONE WANT TO START A FIGHT—OR A WAR?

AUTHOR’S NOTE: I wrote this entry yesterday. In a way it is such a simple question and yet so powerful. As I wrote the words, below, they seemed childish. I thought how dumb I must be to be considering such a simple thing as this: Could personal anger be connected to the cause of war. Then something wonderful happened—I was given the answer.

Some years ago, when we were visiting Ukiah one summer, a fellow named Lonnie (who died of lung cancer) came across the street from his house to greet my wife and I at her parents. He held a red book in his hand, which he handed over to me. He’d heard I had an interest in Buddhism, and perhaps—I don’t remember—he’d also heard I was a Vietnam Vet. The book was "LIVING BUDDHA, LIVING CHRIST" by Thich Nhat Hanh, the Buddhist monk who has spent most of his life thinking and acting on the very questions which are renting space in my brain.

I am eager to share his thinking. Last night reading the first chapter, answered so much for me. It is wonderful how I thought to pick up the book yesterday—one I hadn’t read yet—but then things happen exactly when they are supposed to. All we need is to be awake. Now here is what I wrote before the answers were revealed. Anyway, the questions must come first!

You want to fight? You have a problem with me? You think you’re tough? You wanna step outside?

What is this anger we feel? The best way to define anger I’ve heard is that it’s the flip side of fear. Fear promotes anger. Fear comes first, then anger follows. This is one thing I’m an expert at. Many Vietnam vets—hell, many vets period—have fear of loud noises, of being surprised. It sets us of immediately, bypassing any rational thought process that might stop the anger from flaring. Essentially, the anger comes from being afraid of the surprise—for someone who’s been in a war, surprise is not a good thing. It usually means something bad. It often means the difference between life and death so one’s reaction is simply self-preservation. It’s the kind of fear, which may start a fight, an outburst of rage, but not the kind of thing, which will start a war. It is basic human nature. It may be wrong, but it is simple and easy to understand.

It seems to me that wars are fought over things—territory, power struggles. The ongoing fight between Israel and Palestine is a perfect example. It’s about land, which is also simple to understand.

More difficult for me to understand are wars fought over beliefs or ideologies like Osama Bin Laden and his followers who are so fanatical about their scriptures that they are willing to kill those who don’t share the same beliefs. Where does that come from? Are they afraid of non-believers? And, if not, then where does the hate come from? Think of it, Bin Laden and his followers have strong enough hate that they are willing to commit suicide in order to kill their perceived enemies! This, to me, seems like insanity.

How does one’s belief in God become so fanatical that one thinks of murdering someone who believes something different? I try to put myself in the position of someone who thinks that way and I simply cannot do it. I can’t get there. What I can do, is think of defending myself, my family—even my country—against one who would harm me, us. It is easy for me to think of killing someone in that instance. Through fear of being attacked or having a loved one attacked or my country attacked. In this scenario I am able to bypass my normal belief of not wanting to harm another living thing for the sake of protection, of self-preservation.

Still, I don’t have the answer for the other side; the answer to why someone would want to kill over a religious belief different than mine.