STARTING FROM HERE

It’s my birthday and because it comes so close to the beginning of the year I think of it as a time to take stock, to make plans, to create new beginnings. After all, it is for me, the one and only anniversary of my greatest new beginning in this lifetime—my birth.

So where do I begin? Right here, right now. It’s actually a fairly ridiculous question really, "where do I begin?" But, to let you in on a secret, I am in the habit of asking myself these sorts of very basic things. Some people tell me, it is what is charming about me. It maintains my sense of boyish innocence—my being such a simple, basic bloke.

Even if it were possible to start from somewhere other than right here, I’d choose right here just because it seems simpler, more basic. The point I am really making here, is that to begin a new chapter, a new year, means to begin by both accepting and utilizing who I am and all that I’ve done. Both the bad and the good. All the stuff that makes up Me, is what I’m dealing with and is in a sense, my starting blocks for the race to the end. Another way to say it might be, it’s my application for admission to the coming year. If I’m filling out the form, I’m going to have to get real, and list all my accomplishments. In this case, the application is for "internal use only" so there should be no need to lie. In fact, the more truthful I can be with myself, the better off I’ll be. Because, come to think of it, "starting from where I am" means no lying. Lies could put the starting block falsely ahead on the track. It would be a false start—eventually I’d tell on myself!

I’m not sure all this will make sense to anybody but me. But what I’ve always said, and still believe, is that the point of this journal is for me. I’ve been doing it for over a year now, and sometimes when I look back at where I’ve been, it helps. It helps me to know where I should be, and it’s especially important every time, like today, when I plan to begin my life again.