THE POINT OF IT ALL

I’ve been metamorphosing of late. It’s an exciting thing happening. I think what it is, is this is something that has always been going on and through the Grace of God I have just now been allowed to witness it.

I’ll try to explain: it’s like this. Many years ago Maharishi Mahesh Yogi asked me to come to work for him. I was unclear exactly what I was supposed to do, you know, what my "job" was. I was unclear about almost everything. There didn’t seem to be any rhyme or reason to what he had planned for me. First I was a video cameraman and I spent long days while Maharishi lectured to rooms filled with dignitaries, guests from all over the world and people just like me who had been picked to be there but weren’t really sure why.

I had a job but I didn’t really have a job. After awhile, Maharishi told me to sit with the designers—a group headed by Lawrence Sheaff, which also included Steven Benson, Tony Miles, Paul Levy and Eike Hartmann. I sat with them at one of the long tables set in front of the audience, just at the foot of Maharishi’s dais. From there, he gave us projects to do—sometimes individually, sometimes as a group.

I learned that it didn’t matter, in the end, what the project was. Maharishi was always switching things around, confusing us, changing the rules. Always, just when you thought you had a handle on what you were supposed to be doing, he’d pull out the carpet from underneath leaving you face down on the floor! It was at once, exasperating, tiring, confusing, and ultimately, exhilarating!

The point was—I was so dumb about it, it took me months to catch on—that WHAT you did, didn’t much matter. It was that, underlying your "job" was the most beautiful, most consistent, unmovable force of all—Pure Consciousness. And that was what Maharishi was giving us the experience of. By constantly changing our perspective on the material plane of existence, he was loosening us up so we’d let go the tight grip we all have on the surface of existence.

I was given a room in the hotel we were staying in on the shore of Lake Lucern, just below Maharishi’s room. I knew there was a reason for this. It felt as if I had been thrown into a pot of hot soup that he was stirring.

By day I was in the hall where Maharishi continually played with our consciousness and I now suspected that even when I slept at night with Maharishi's presence directly above me, this was having a profound effect towards my metamorphosis.

One evening in the hall when the day’s meeting had broken up and all were about to head to their beds exhausted, Maharishi called me up to sit in a chair beside him. After I sat down, he signaled me with his index finger to move even closer. I sat there, just a foot from him, feeling the intense heat from his enlightened being. I don’t even remember what he told me. I’m not sure that his words were the point. Instead, it was feeling his darshan, the perpetual flow of pure consciousness that emanates from his being, that was the point.

For whatever reason, I am feeling the same sort of feeling again, only now, it's purely on my own. It’s as if I’m experiencing Nature’s darshan itself.

The best way I can explain it is to say that it is much like the experience I had during those days with Maharishi. I’m in much the same position in many ways. I quit my job a few years ago to follow a faint glimmer of an inner candle that it seemed was going to lead me somewhere. But, just as when I first went to work for Maharishi, I have little knowledge about what my "job" is. The cool thing is that I don’t really much care. I’m no longer trying to fit in to what I think society wants me to be. I’ve pretty much let go of titles and roles and whatever it is that has cornered me for most of this life.

What I do know is that the more open I become, the more expansive I see that life is and thus the happier I am. And this, I guess, is the point.