NO DOUBT

I am enlightened and I only have to know it.

It is strange to think I am enlightened but this is what is taking place. The thought keeps coming into my mind, that I am fully enlightened. I am there. There is no longer any time or space between the goal and me. The truth is, there IS no goal when we know we are there. But this is a very strange feeling. Every time I think it is true, that I am enlightened, the next thought is "Oh, how can that be?" There is always this nagging doubt.

I remember Maharishi saying that doubt is the biggest hindrance to enlightenment. Suddenly, I understand exactly what he meant. Why is it that I cannot simply accept what I feel is my state of mind, my state of being. This is so odd. I feel as if I am stuck in the middle of some sort of ridiculous joke, and the joke is on me!

I wonder why I am having all these thoughts about arriving at the goal when I don’t really feel any different than I felt before. Perhaps this is the answer: There is no difference before or after. It is only my awareness of where I am at the time.