GIVING MY WORD

The line I think of next is, "my word is all I have."

Think about it. What I say describes me. It defines who I am. So, above all things, I’d better be truthful in what I say. In other words, I’d better mean what I say.

What’s got me thinking about the value of my word is the promise I made to the cardiologist I met in Iraq last month.

On the way home from a blood test this morning—they keep very close track of my levels these days—which always reminds me of just how mortal I am, I was thinking that I really don’t even know this doctor in Baghdad. I have heard that he is beyond reproach which is what I need to know.

But my point here is that this man who I talked to for maybe twenty minutes, is somebody I gave my word to. That fact has not diminished. It has not gone away, as one might’ve expected.

I mean, it could’ve happened that I would have returned from Baghdad, sent my pictures over to AmeriCares, written a few entries in my journal and then gotten on with other business.

The Doctor would’ve perhaps thought about that heart patient he’d had a cup of tea with, "I think he was a photographer" is all he might’ve remembered, "who said he thought he could help." But if the doctor never heard from me again, I would’ve faded from his memory and then after awhile I’d be gone completely and the good doctor would be going about his business in Baghdad on his own, or maybe some others would show up to help him.

…none of which pertains to me keeping my word. That is all up to me. As I’m finding it is with anything—and everything—it all comes back to me. Or it all comes down to me. Me, myself and I. It’s my word that I’m keeping, and I’m keeping it for myself, for my own self-respect. In the end, I will die by myself and be judged only by me. So I’d better learn to do as I say and say as I do.

…which is why I am keeping my word to help rebuild Dr. Shawki’s Cardiac Clinic. If I am completely hones, I am not doing this for any great "humanitarian" reason. I’m doing it for me. And really just because I gave my word that I would help.