TO ALL THE YOUNG SOLDIERS

The last day of May, for some reason, has always stuck out in my mind as an important day for me. It is usually considered Memorial Day but, in addition to that, in 1970 it was the day I was initiated into Transcendental Meditation—an event that changed my life drastically for the next six years, and forever, really. When I began this journal, long ago last November, I began with the life-changing events which circled around that time in my life when I’d just returned from Vietnam and was lost to the world. It’s no co-incidence that we Vietnam Vets called our country "The World" mostly because Vietnam really was so "other worldly!" My experience of Vietnam as a war is best portrayed by Francis Ford Coppola’s movie "Apocalypse Now." The crazy scene where Robert Duval, with a battle raging right on top of him, roars: "I love the smell of napalm in the morning!" –that image goes a long way toward describing my personal experience of Nam. This may have something to do with the power of the marijuana they grew "in country!"

I first heard about TM one night while the Captain of the anchovy boat I lived on at the time, together with his under-aged runaway girlfriend and I, were smoking some vastly inferior American pot in the pilot house of the boat when in walked the elderly Dutch gentleman, Hans Sebbelov, who changed my life. He sat down, and after shaming the Captain of the boat for still smoking pot after he’d been taught to meditate, he excitedly described the experiences he was having in his meditations. Hans, I learned later that evening during our long, slow walk around the harbor, had gone to see Maharishi Mahesh Yogi in Rishikesh, India as a last chance, as someone who might have a cure for his incurable disease. (To this day, I’m not sure I ever heard what his disease was—at least I can’t remember!)

It was late that evening, after we’d smoked endless Winston Cigarettes (Han’s one vice) in a dockside coffee shop, and Hans was giving me his simple rules that I should live by, that his face completely transformed itself into Maharishi’s! I’ve never fully understood this—although I accept it completely—but it was Maharishi giving me those instructions: the main one was to learn TM. So it was, on May 31, that I had my first experience transcending—going beyond, or beneath, the normal visible material world.

Another thing I’ll never forget is how incredible I felt after learning to meditate. The procedure took only a half-hour or so and though my experience in meditation was not memorable, the way I felt afterwards was. I walked down the street in Westwood Village to the first pizza place I saw—it was one of those thin, crispy crust places new in California at the time. The pizza place glowed with a sort of inner sunshine that was unmistakable! Everything my eyes fell on seemed crystal clear, almost transparent. For the first time I experienced first hand, the power of not just any meditation, but Transcendental Meditation. It was wonderful and it truly changed my life.

This happened on the last day of May 1970. Now, thirty-three years later, the meaning of life has grown larger—and far more difficult. God has given me so many rich experiences, marriage for twenty two years, having children, journeys to many of the far corners of the globe, the death of my father, the love of friends, the loss of friends and what could be called "God’s Program of Continuing Education."

I realize that I am rambling here—but this is my blog and the reason for it, as I’ve said before, is really for me to talk to myself so I can learn everything there is to know. In that vein, I began today, with the thought of simply honoring our young soldiers. Having just returned from Baghdad—and with the killing of soldiers still very much in the news—I want to offer a heart felt thanks.

I’ll see if I can phrase this thought succinctly: For me, being a soldier really was very much a defining role of my life. Going to war somehow stripped me of all pretensions and pre-conceived notions of what life was. Being in Iraq just a few days ago, served to re-confirm that. Just seeing the innocent faces of our young troops confirmed that war changed me. My wife would say it screwed me up, probably irreparably. I choose to look at what it did in a positive light—it stripped me so completely, so naked, that there was only one thing that could begin to heal me—and that was where my seeking for God began which lead me to Transcendental Meditation. The vacuum that had been created and had left me so empty, was the place God rushed into.

I don’t confuse Hans Sebbelov or Maharishi as Gods. They were just two wonderful men who somehow showed up in order to guide me towards the light of life. And, in the spirit of passing on something I have learned, I want to offer hope to soldiers: What you are doing, is by far the highest calling a human can have. It is that simple. You are offering your very existence—your ability to breathe the air on this planet—in order to protect the freedom of others.

What you are doing goes beyond politics. War boils down to being a completely personal thing. Time and again, when asked, you will hear soldiers say that they fight for their buddies. That is about as far beyond politics as you can get! Whether anyone wants to believe it or not, it is the highest spiritual act. Spiritual. War offers the ultimate spiritual lesson.

I remember reading a book—the name escapes me—where a spiritual seeker passes all the lessons his guide gives him right up until the point the seeker is about to become enlightened. They are—figuratively—at the final step right before reaching the top of the mountain, which remains just out of reach. The seeker thinks, I can’t make it myself—it is just a little too far to reach...but what I can do is help someone to climb up by giving them a boost. And then, of course, the seeker becomes enlightened.

This is one of the lessons I keep being taught: to spread the knowledge of what I have learned. So, to the young soldiers, I say—realize that you are already doing what the spiritual seeker is doing. By your selfless action, you are already doing what it may take others lifetimes to learn.

My hope is that you will take all the pain and suffering—the confusion—you are experiencing, and out of it find that there is a deeper meaning to life which lies just beneath the surface of all the craziness. There are many ways to find the sublime bliss which lies beneath everything. Meditation is one. It is possible to visit the place where God lives. I know it is there, and may you find it.

Posted by Tony at May 31, 2003 09:57 AM