OUR BATTLE WITH ANGER

During these uncertain days of war, what better battle can there be for me to fight—for all of us—than a battle with anger itself?

This is what the Dalai Lama says about anger: "If we examine how anger or hateful thoughts arise in us, we will find that, generally speaking, they arise when we feel hurt, when we feel that we have been unfairly treated by someone against our expectations. If in that instant we examine carefully the way anger arises, there is a sense that it comes as a protector, comes as a friend that would help our battle or in taking revenge against the person who has inflicted harm on us. So the anger or hateful thought that arises appears to come as a shield or a protector. But in reality that is an illusion. It is a very delusory state of mind."

Reading his words, I know the Dalai Lama is right. Because when I think of my own experience with anger, I recall that it arises when someone says something that hurts me. I am hurt, so as a protection, as though I was lifting a shield in front of me, I grow angry. My wife sometimes tells me that whenever anyone else is angry in the family, I grow even angrier than they are—my protection has to be greater.

But how do I win this battle against anger. In order to win does it mean I must learn not to be hurt? But how can I ever do that? There is no way to assure myself I will never feel hurt. So how can I feel hurt but then not grow angry? That is the question I must answer.

His Holiness tells us that neither education nor wealth nor even the law will protect us from these feelings of anger which arise. It appears that there really is no simple answer and that it is continued practice, which is the only way… The Dalai Lama says, "The only factor that can give refuge or protection from the destructive effects of anger and hatred is the practice of tolerance and patience."

So those are the weapons—tolerance and patience—which we must choose in fighting our battle.