DEAR NOT BEING GOOD ENOUGH,

You certainly were who I was. You fit me like a tailored suit. I listened to your song, reveling in the words and dancing to your music. I identified with you completely--with the feeling that I was not good enough. You and I became one and the same. I was not good enough for you and not good enough for me.

Imagine how this felt? To honor the hurtful words that had been told to me so many times that I took them into my heart where they became my manifesto for life. It sickens my heart to think of it now, that not so long ago I had given myself up in your favor like a player on the losing side of a game stands on the field long after the game’s over and stares, idolizing the star of the winning team.

I have no one to blame but me. I cannot blame a feeling called Not Good Enough for ruling my life for so long. Since I was the one that let you into my life, I take responsibility for what you did to me.