I’d like to get something straight—I am no expert on anything. Half the time, at least half the time, I have no clue about what I’m going to say; let this be a warning to anyone reading further…
I know that acceptance is a big deal. There is a wonderful saying in one of the inspirational books I open most mornings which suggests we "wear life like a loose garment." To me, that sums it up. Being comfortable in our own skin is another way to say it. And this begins to happen by accepting who we are.
The problem with the idea of acceptance is that it can mean that if we have a low estimation of who we are, then that is what we are willing to settle for. That means I have to be careful about accepting too much about myself that might be "less than" who I am. It is so easy for me to fall into that trap of feeling that I am not good enough. The best part of accepting who I am is this: The truth is, I am fine—just as I am. I don’t need to change, don’t need to make myself better, especially to fit into an imaginary idea—or someone else’s idea—of who I should be. There is no other idea for me…of who I should be. I am fine, warts and all, just as I am.
This doesn’t mean I shouldn’t strive. Every day there is a challenge facing me—it’s called life. If I wake up breathing, I have to deal with life. But with the tools I’ve been given, I can deal. I have a good mind, an idea of what’s right and wrong, and a good sense of direction. So one of the things I can accept is my ability to make my way in the world. The more I accept, the easier life becomes—the more my life begins to feel like I’m wearing it like a loose garment.
Posted by Tony at February 7, 2003 08:30 AMYour entries for the last few days have rang true for me. I am on this self discovery process which leads me to the question of Who am I or Who should I be? I have lived a substantial part of my life living as who I should be, which is part of the problem. This lead to my dpression, and as I uncover who I am it is wonderful yet frightening. I have such surges of truth of where I want to go, but pull back like a turtle retreating into his shell. I continue on this journey for I am passionate about finding my truth and accepting myself along the way.Accepting where I am today if necessary for the who I want to be and strive to befor the future.
The doubting of spiritual experiences happens to me all the time, I get these moments of such powerful feelings and emotions when I walk in the nature preserve that I often feel maybe I am insane. I always carry so much in my head that I can't express what I feel verbally, and I want to so desperately. After seeing the movie "The Hours" I was driving to met a friend for dinner and it was a full moon and a beautiful blue sky and this powerful feeling and intense sense of calm came me about my desire to write, just to start writing, with no expectation of the results, I too was so excited I told me friend, I am going to write a story! She thought great. Now of course, I doubt my ability. Doubt has run my life as fear has. I learning to pay attention to my thoughts and feelings no matter how painful. I am working on my spiritual growth to help me in making some decisions in my life. I am in the rebirthing process and it is scary. I appreciate you sharing your thoughts as it helps me to have the courage to express mine. I hope you don't mind, I would like to continue. I do have one question, did your therapist hug you after your sessions? That may be weird question but I hope you don't mind. I have such a struggle with my therapist and letting him in and pushing him away, which is part of my history that I want to change. Fear and doubt. Take care and I look forward to reading more. Nancy
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