THE SECOND TIME AROUND

Is this a déjà vu? Is this a déjà vu?

Right now, I am moving very slowly. I’m trying my best to recuperate and to let my heart, with all its new parts, have all the time it needs to heal. For some reason—and I’m not sure why—maybe because I’ve slowed down, I’ve been feeling a little like I’m a kid again. It’s like I’m growing up for the second time. But since I’ve been here before, now I’m more conscious of what is going on. Growing up, everything was too close to me to notice. But now, it’s like I’ve seen it all before.

Remember what growing up was like, when the senses were overwhelming, and sights, smells and sounds were all too real, too overpowering? This time around, I seem to be able to appreciate much more of what is going on as it’s happening. Now I am conscious of what I’m experiencing and, because it doesn’t seem new to me, there’s no reason to be apprehensive or afraid. I feel as if I am more of a witness to my life. It’s a very cool feeling.

But I wonder, have I said this all before?