THE CLICHÉ

I find myself saying several times a day now, "I’m just glad to be alive." The last two people I’ve emailed today, I’ve said it to. I had an appointment with a photographer this morning and I said it to him. What I’m thinking of here, is that having had open heart surgery, and then a repair to that, has changed me. In the first place it was so unexpected, so surprising to me that it happened at all—which alone could’ve changed me. But having been otherwise a healthy and vigorous sort of person, it just seemed so odd that I had trouble believing that the doctor was talking about me when he was explaining the procedure I was to undergo. At one point I joked with him, "are you sure you have the right guy? I mean, aren’t I too young and don’t feel to good to have something seriously wrong?" But of course, his answer was a serious. "If we don’t do the surgery, you have a very good chance of dying of a major heart attack in the next 12 months."

Okay then, it is me you’re talking about.

Following the "I’m just happy to be alive" thought is the feeling of needing to take advantage of each minute. Again, this may sound like a cliché but it’s what is on my mind now and I think it’s an important sentiment to share with you. Every choice I make must answer the question: "Am I following my bliss?" The only things I want to do, are the things that make me happy and make those around me happy. I realize now that here, in my own heart is where the healing begins—whatever I find good and true in me will end up being good and true for the world as a whole.